Soul Searching...thats wher i have been hiding

I have 4 quotes to describe how i have been doing and where my mind is headed in the next few weeks to come, we (Learnership group) need as much inspiration and motivation as possible. Speaking for myself, I go around thinking i have everything under control, well that's what it seems like on the surface and when you walking around with pride and your head up high.

Failure: Yes, that's my biggest fear right now, that not only will i let down those who have the biggest faith in me, but my country during the world cup as well as myself. People always make perceptions of you from the way you present yourself in a crowd. The moment you don't deliver what is expected of you, you become a failure, a disappointment and the pressure is on. Now you can always blame people for expecting too much from you, but what you need to understand is that there is reason why your head is up high and why people see in you what you don't, why they have the faith in you that you seem to be searching for. "You haven't failed until you quit trying" by Anon. "you on the road to success when you realise that failure is only a detour" by Anon. This is the part where you pick yourself and dust yourself up.

Shyness/ Lack of Confidence: Everyone that knows me or who have been around me will know that I'm extremely shy at first and people tend to interpret that as confidence and pride. But through my time with with the Continental crew (especially Anja) i have realised that the only time you lack confidence and is when you have no clue whats going on, what you need to do and you just lost in some little world of yours. and my shyness is actually some sort of protective element i use to hold myself back and give myself time to scan and analyse the situation and my surrounding before i could break free. with tons of knowledge you gain confidence and break free. "the shell must break before the bird can fly" by Tennyson. And for the next two weeks, its cracking that shell so when its time to represent my country with pride, the Blue Crane (national bird) will be flying high.

Challenge: Being part of this programme has taught me alot, now the educational part I'm still working on, but its the lessons of life that really stick to me. Now being giving an amazing opportunity like the one we have is more then a blessing, getting the year end national tour guide certificate and everything else that has been paid for is fantastic, but what valuable life lessons have you taken in during this time?? I remember being in a taxi on my way to my 3rd assessment *embarrassed face* and i was complaining on the phone to a friend of mine how much work all this is and how tired i am and i kept whining and crying, and she said to me that i am not being greatful. How many people out there would love the chance you have right now? how many sit at home with no education and no work not because they don't want to but because they just don't have the same opportunities as you do?? i need to stop complaining and do what I'm best at. i was not chosen out of the odd 400 because they thought i was pretty, but because i gave to them what they need to touch the souls of our guests during the 2010 FIFA World Cup, I showed them that I'm made of success and can tackle any task given at hand. now this is not say i need to be perfect all the time, but to give whatever i am doing, the best that i have.

For the past two days my boyfriend has complained that I'm forever whining and crying. and i think if i used all that energy into something positive, no challenge will be too big or too hard for me. Not only am i going to make Continental proud, my family, friends, mentor, colleagues, and all the guest, but i am going to make myself proud to be a South African and i will raise my flag up high and feel my heartbeat as the wind blows it side to side. so this quote i dedicate it to everyone "Don't ask for a lighter load, rather ask for a stronger back" by Anon.

Now to end this on a more positive note, i hope you all realise the potential you have in you, wherever you are in the world, what job you may be doing, whatever course you may doing in school, whatever challenges are thrown at you in life:

Question you should be asking is "Is it worth it?" and not "Can it be done?", and for my beloved country, YES IT IS WORTH EVERY PINCH OF SWEAT TO BE THE BEST TOURIST GUIDE THIS COUNTRY HAS TO OFFER!!! Until next time, I'm signing off!